The Placebo Effect.

I think I got a sunburn... We made it to the beach today and could hear thunder in the distance, the lifeguards wouldn't let anyone in the ocean, but the sun was still shining. Then, 3 hours later, we knew it was going to rain so we cam back home. I'm full of sand and huge welts on my legs from the mosquitoes that seem to love my blood. I mean HUGE welts. DEFORMED welts. Even the mosquitoes in India weren't this bad!!

Last week was great, especially because Petite Fee was here. Went out every night, ate Ethiopian with L the L, saw The Sugar Report (great as usual), drank way too much, even had a night out with only a couple of drinks, ended up in Williamsburg introducing myself to people in a random deli as "Paradox, tourist from Manhattan", karate kicked a few walls, poured a huge glass of ice water down my shirt in the basement at Lit, danced on the couch at The Skinny (usual occurence), made Psycho scuttle away like a cockroach, met my twin music BFF, saw and hung out at Rockstar 1's house and got sick.

I feel like going out tonight although I know I shouldn't. Anyone up for some couch dancing and random barhopping in the rain.

I only want what I deserve

Too much to update on in the space of 5 mins, so i shall tell all later today.
I am sooo sick still, but at my mum's having a mini weekend vacation with Pock. Beach, movies, shopping, food.
No alcoholic beverages or substance.

A stain that never comes off

Big decisions are fantastic. I feel a lot happier right now.
Now for small decisions... What should I wear tonight? I'm going out for dinner with J then drinks and whatever follows with my friends. Am going to go see RBOH because I haven't seen her for aaaaages and she will be DJing at 87 tonight.
Am sad that Paradox Twin is still sick and won't be out though, and K went back to LI to relax, get tanned and help Mum drag a new bed into the house (or something like that).
Keith is hilarious - he put me in a great mood this afternoon, I can't stop dancing round my apartment.

And I cry and no one can hear

I did manage to get to the Courtney Love show at Hiro on Thursday. I didn't land at LGA until 11:25, but managed to rush home, change and make it to 16th and Ninth by 12:30. K, A and L the L had gone inside with D when she got there, and there were a bunch of people in line who couldn't get in. The security guys were really being assholes, but A got me in so I got to see the last half of the show. The high point was screaming along to Northern Star with K, but I wasn't too impressed with the overall show. The new songs are good, but I need to hear them recorded to get a real opinion. I didn't think the band sounded that together, but they looked like they were having fun.
She played some Hole stuff (Miss World, Doll Parts, Celebrity Skin, Northern Star), but I didn't hear anything from America's Sweetheart, which, despite all the bad reviews and no-publicity, is a really good album.

I'm looking forward to the "real" tour and album. The band and Courtney are still warming up (Courtney couldn't remember the lyrics for some songs and had to read them off a piece of paper). Once they tighten up, Courts gets her roar back and eats a little bit more so that power and energy reappears, I will be happy. I still have faith that she can blow us away - it just waned a little.

After the show I went to The Skinny, was drunk got home around 3:30 and went to sleep feeling extremely emo. That's what exhaustion will do for you I guess.

I just can't stay here every yesterday

I'm exhausted but bored. I have just been thinking of how many Stolis on the rocks I can drink before blacking out and counting the number of bruises (12) on my legs. BORing. I am running out of cigarettes and quarters to buy cigarettes with. And if I leave my apartment my legs may automatically carry me to the DR to drink myself stupid while MH plays music. Yeah I'm only barred from there when the person I used to consider my brother (otherwise known as the psycho) is away. Funny thing is I don't even care anymore.
Die fucker die.
It's fine - cos L the L replaced him and is a much better AND real friend to me than the psycho ever was. Who calls me immediately on receipt of a text that says "I feel so sad today".

It's been over three weeks and I am still completely obsessed (maybe more and more every day) with the new Interpol album. However, I've been listening to Letter to Elise on a loop for the past few days because it makes me cry and because I feel sad, bad nostalgic, doomed and depressed. Blah. If I got more than an average of 3 hours sleep a night/day do you think the mood would lift? Ellipsis.

Oooh Paradox Twin (not from birth) and me have taken to having sober evenings where we go out for dinner and talk. They are so much fun.

Anyone who deciphers the acronym "MH" gets a kiss.

There's no I in threesome

OMFG.
I lost my new debit card somewhere between Louisville and New York yesterday. Great ending to a week of utter hell. 16+ hour work days, a million people driving me up the fucking wall in my life and now no way of getting money out for at least a week.
I need another Stoli.
Or maybe I will just pass out into a black hole for a while.

I shall update on the Courtney show tomorrow. Am just not in the mood right now.