April is always a very difficult month for me, and I tend to get very nostalgic and emotional (as you can probably tell from the last few posts). Seeing as music and words are my life, every song I listen to brings back some type of memory, and I feel myself falling back into a different time of my life.
While I was lying in bed yesterday morning I realised that I hadn't listened to Skunk Anansie in years. So I dug the CDs out of my boxes and put them on my ipod. Wow. I was SO angry when I was a teenager. As soon as I put Stoosh on I realised how much I kept everything inside, and just how I wanted to stomp on everything around me, myself included. At least I was able to pour it all out in words...
In any case - all the words still work for me today. I can apply Weak, Secretly, Brazen, Hedonism, All I Want, Infidelity to past, present and future.
"Stronger feelings than you've ever had to face".
I just had this image of me standing on the table in the common area in Kibbutz Evron, literally shouting along to Weak with Isabel. I guess that was one of those moments when F. decided to be an asshole again. Too many of those to remember (not that I really want to anyway).
The little angry teen that never really went away is coming out again. I don't fear her, I'll just let her kick and stomp it out of herself for a while.
"TO THE EEEEEEEEND!!"