Friday, September 28, 2012

Rants: The Truth about Honesty

How hard is it to tell the truth? Or maybe, to be more exact, how hard is it to be honest with another person? This is all just basic communication. You ask me how I am, I tell the truth (well most of the time). I ask you what you are eating for dinner, you tell the truth. No need to make up some elaborate story about that, right? I ask you what you thought of the last book you read and you tell me the truth. You ask me what I thought of the last episode of Sons of Anarchy and I tell you what I thought. Not that difficult, right?

I haven’t written many rants on here lately… Not because I haven’t had any, or because all of a sudden I became the happiest person in the world without anything to complain about (utopia? Wherever another human being is to be found I am sure I will find something to complain about). I’ve just been busy, a lot of it working, or sitting around watching people interact with each other, mainly in the dark confines of bars way after what would be considered a “normal” bed time. And the recurring theme that seems to have come up, randomly over the past few weeks, with different groups of people (or just one person alone for that matter), is honesty. Or maybe Honesty, with a capital H. Let’s just make it sound important, because for something so simple, it seems to be one of the most difficult things for many people to actually grasp.

I think my main rant is about the fact that wherever it would be just so easy to tell the truth (with a yes/no response), people tend to instead make up some crazy story that is as far from the (easy) truth that can be, and once it has come out of their mouth they can’t retract it anymore. Or are too scared to, and have to continue playing along with the stupid story that they made up until it becomes something so big that they can’t get away from it anymore. But we all know the truth about these types of these situations… They never stay hidden for long, and once the person who has been lied to finds out then any kind of trust is just broken. And once trust is broken, how can you go back to believing the person again. If they can’t tell the truth about one thing, then where is the line drawn between what is real and what is a lie in anything they say?

I get it, it’s sometimes really scary to actually tell someone how you feel (about life, about them, about anything personal), but isn’t it actually then better just to keep your mouth shut if you don’t think you can say the truth? This is coming from someone who has a real hard time talking about anything that is feeling-related because I don’t trust many people not to throw it back in my face. I refuse to lie though. I’ll just say I don’t want to talk about it. I know that’s not much better, but I would much rather someone tell me that than the exact opposite of what they are really thinking. Then again when someone asks me straight out what I think about something, and I feel that they merit a proper response, I will tell the truth. It never even crosses my mind to make up a lie, because what’s the point? So I really don’t get these people who just have to lie.

Just be HONEST. It’ll save everyone involved from a lot of hurt and anger and confusion down the road.

Just a few of the stupid lies and stories I have heard, or heard about over the past couple of weeks:
“Yeah I don’t mind.” (I really do mind and am now going to use this against you later on)
“I like you and am not seeing anyone else.” (I am but I want you to stick around for a while longer so I’ll just lie about it)
“I’m not going to be able to make it because I have stuff to do at home.” (I made better plans with another group of friends but am too scared to hurt your feelings)
“I totally agree with what you are saying!” (I don’t but I am too scared to actually talk about my own thoughts on the subject).

Blah. People. So boringly predictable at times. Why make your life so more difficult by being a hypocrite and a liar when you can just tell the truth and be a genuinely nice person?

Rant over.


Leslie Kent said...

I wish I could be more brave. I usually just avoid or say I don't feel comfortable discussing it which is not super amazing but I do try for at least that. People I am the closest with I feel more at ease for the most part but sometimes the most ill at ease. Very strange. Nice post though. A thinker.

loubielou32 said...

I do say what I think. If life teaches us anything it's that we only get one chance at it. And when people lie its generally to protect themselves, not you. If I hear something such as people talking about me I confront them. Why should you allow people to make you feel unhappy? And if they don't want to be confronted then they should keep their mouths shut. We sometimes over analyse things and build them into some huge obstacle because we allow fear to magnify the problem instead of understanding that we have nothing to fear by being ourselves and that we won't alienate people by being honest. I'm not saying that you take this to extremes and hurt people but you can sometimes hurt people you care about the most by trying not to hurt them. Freedom of expression means freedom to be you, and if that means being seen as a maverick is that so bad? I don't think so.