BLAH.

I'm getting itchy feet again. I've been here over four years now and I still love it. I don't really want to move anywhere else... But I really want to settle down and feel like my life is stable. The idea that once filled me with utter panic is now what I want most of all. Actually the opposite fills makes my heart jittery with fear right now. What if it never happens? What if I am alone for the rest of my life?

Bushwick is tiring me. Last night my street became a full-blown party area around 3am. Cars stopping in the middle of the street blasting the crappiest dance music I have ever heard, people yelling at each other, skateboarders riding up and down the street, non-stop... The BP gas station was robbed at gunpoint again last week and I can never walk to subway station without hearing some kind of lewd remark. BLAH. I love Brooklyn but all this is tiring me. I want a house in the country. Do I?

Overwhelmed by everything at the moment.