After an eventful night on Sunday when once again I woke up at home not remembering a thing from the past 6 hours, accumulated with the fact that once again I felt terrible and the fact that Tracy told me that people were beginning to worry about me and that when I blacked out I wasn't Jade anymore I decided to stop drinking for a while.
Nothing. Certainly NO vodka. But also no wine or beer or ANYTHING. Something flipped in the past few months - I have blacked out 4/5 times I have been drinking and I have been LUCKY I have people around me who care about me. I don't really care if I have made a fool of myself, I just care about the fact that I have made people WORRY about me. The way I used to worry about some of my friends. The way I promised myself I would never ever ever get.
So, sobriety. It's not even daunting - actually exciting. There are so many things I have neglected in the last 6 months that I am prepared to get back into again. My writing for one. Reading is another. All those plans I have been thinking about but never acting upon. I don't want to stop going out, but will go out sober. My friends are all with me which is a great feeling. And those of you who prefer blacked-out drunk Jade... Well you didn't really know me at all anyway.
I had a wonderful Christmas at Mum's. I got so spoilt with a ton of things that I can use and that I have wanted/needed for ages. I ate so much and rested and thought about a lot of things. I love my family so much. I just wish Dylan could have been there.
I just had my first gingerbread latte of the year - and probably my last. I can't afford much at the moment!