A lot of different events and incidents that ended up colliding in full force in June made me question whether I wanted to be here anymore. It's been five years, doesn't that mean it's time to move on? For once in my life I resisted the impulsion to pack up and leave, discover another country and let whatever was hurting me in the past, far behind me. For once I actually thought it over and weighed the pros and the cons of my life here, and decided that i don't really want to leave here, I just want to run away. Well, for now. Who knows what will happen when the temperature starts dropping, when I really can't handle my job anymore, when someone breaks my heart again...
Here are my reasons for staying here:
1). I have the the best friends in the world. People I can trust, who know me by heart and who I can count on at all times. And who can always count on me for that matter. I've lived through a lot with these people (you know who you are).
2). However much I craved stability it always scared the shit out of me. I've finally let myself settle down here. I've been working at the same place for five years, I have a great apartment and don't want to have to move again.
3). NYC is amazing and I discover something new all the time. I can see all the bands I love and know so many talented musicians. It's inspiring.
4). There are four seasons here, and I love every one of them equally.
5). I feel that I have the perfect middle ground of Europe and the US here and I am halfway between the two countries of my youth (England and France) and my family in California.
6). After five years I have realised there is SO much more to discover outside of the city, and I need more time to visit these places.
7). I think I would miss my life and friends here more than anything. I never ever want to feel that homesickness that would randomly hit me before i moved here...