It's just a little bit saddening when everyone else's problems are a tiny bit more important than yours. I learnt to actually talk about the way I feel, to communicate when I am sad, angry or happy, but that doesn't mean I am always heard. It's a little frustrating when I am fine with listening and listening and listening, but when it comes to being listened to, it doesn't always happen. What do you have to do to make yourself heard? Something really stupid like drink yourself into a coma? I'm so over doing that type of thing anymore. So maybe I should just go back to not expecting any support or help anymore?
Please remember that strength and willpower don't mean the inability to be sad, breakdown, or to be super sensitive. They just mean you hide it better.
I walked from work on 34th and Park all the way home to Bushwick last night. My eyes kept welling up with tears and people kept looking at me sympathetically, but I just trudged on home, listening to Bella Donna to keep me going.
Some days are easier than others, but if I reach out to you please don't forget me. It's all going to be ok in the end, but I'm feeling very fragile this week.