Monday, September 27, 2010

Desert from a plane


Desert from a plane, originally uploaded by lunajade.

Flying over Arizona and Nevada, from Texas to California yesterday. There really was nothing more entertaining on the 3+ hour flight than the amazing views. I really must thank the grumpy lady who was willing to give up her window seat to me!

More on my Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/9646531@N02/sets/72157625044751156/

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Deftones & Alice in Chains @ MSG, 09/24/2010

Whenever I think of 1995 I think of me at 16: long, long hair, ripped jeans, dresses, flannel shirts, Doc Martens (preferably with purple laces), skipping class to hang out in the park and MUSIC. Nirvana, NIN, Hole, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Sonic Youth, L7, Belly etc etc. I still think I was the perfect age during the 90's, but that's a story for another day.

This year has been an interesting one. I have seen Hole ("Hole"), Pearl Jam and Faith No More. Last year I saw Dinosaur Jr and Sonic Youth (multiple times). In a way it was like being 16 again, and for the forever-nostalgic me it's been bittersweet, although more sweet than bitter.

I bought the tickets months ago when I saw that Deftones were opening for AIC, Meg loves the Deftones, so it was a perfect combination. I some them years ago in Sacramento, and don't really know any of their new stuff, but they put on an awesome show!


Deftones, MSG 09/24/2010
Deftones - 7 Words, MSG 09/24/2010



I didn't really know what to expect with Alice in Chains... I haven't listened to the new album at all, and I can't help thinking about Layne. It's really strange because the new singer (Robert DuVall) sounds SO much like him that you wonder if that's why they chose him. I mean, a lot of the whole AIC sound in the first place, apart from the distinctive guitar sound, was the fact that Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell both sang on many songs, creating some pretty cool harmonized vocals effects. But anyway, what can you do when your lead singer dies? Quit or continue, and I really don't blame them for continuing! They really still do it for me, the sound, the heaviness, the vocals... I just closed my eyes quite a few times and felt myself fall right back in my 16 year old self's brain for an hour.

AIC, MSG 09/24/2010 - 1
AIC, MSG 09/24/2010 - 2

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Human Trafficking

Those of you who know me know that this is a huge deal for me. I'll be posting a lot more about the things I am doing, so I apologise in advance for spamming Twitter, Facebook etc. It's truly important to do at least something to make this world a better place, and if signing a few petitions a day helps, then please join Change.org and check out all the different petitions that need signatures.

This is a pledge I am going to be doing later: Real Men Don't Buy Girls. I've already looped a bunch of people in to join me!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Plan USA: Report: Opportunities and dangers for 21st century girls

I received an email from Plan USA this morning (the organisation through which I sponsor 3 children). The email sent me to the 2010 report on the "Opportunities and Dangers for 21st Century girls" in the world.

It's really interesting: READ HERE

Watch the video... Do your part in helping to make this world a better place. Please.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Sadness... Changes...

It's just a little bit saddening when everyone else's problems are a tiny bit more important than yours. I learnt to actually talk about the way I feel, to communicate when I am sad, angry or happy, but that doesn't mean I am always heard. It's a little frustrating when I am fine with listening and listening and listening, but when it comes to being listened to, it doesn't always happen. What do you have to do to make yourself heard? Something really stupid like drink yourself into a coma? I'm so over doing that type of thing anymore. So maybe I should just go back to not expecting any support or help anymore?

Please remember that strength and willpower don't mean the inability to be sad, breakdown, or to be super sensitive. They just mean you hide it better.

I walked from work on 34th and Park all the way home to Bushwick last night. My eyes kept welling up with tears and people kept looking at me sympathetically, but I just trudged on home, listening to Bella Donna to keep me going.

Some days are easier than others, but if I reach out to you please don't forget me. It's all going to be ok in the end, but I'm feeling very fragile this week.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Oh beautiful crashing waves!

Last weekend of summer, pure blue skies, the serenity of hundreds of clouds flying over the beach with the intensity of the huge waves crashing on the sand. Beautiful!




Random signs

I always keep my eyes peeled for funny signs, interesting words and puns, and meaningful posts while I am out. Here is a taste of some I have captured on my walks.






Saturday, September 18, 2010

Sunrise - Mastic Beach 09/2010

I can't help it - no matter how much sleep I may need (and don't get) I always set my alarm for sunrise when I am out here. They really never fail to be magnificent.

I switched between my own Canon 18-55mm lense and my Mum's Canon 75-300mm one.




More here: Flickr

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Gloomy day...

I don't know if I wanted Autumn to descend on us THIS fast. So gloomy. I can't concentrate on anything work-related this week, everything is giving me a headache, earache, backache... I just want to be at home reading, watching a movie, dreaming in the bath, hanging out with Meg and laughing about silly stories. Anything but sitting at my increasingly messy desk on the 40th floor, listening to the wind howl around me.

BLAH is pissing me off and I feel like I all I am saying to her nowadays is what a bad friend she is and how selfishly she is acting, and how she just drops anything that is important in her life to hang out with a guy who has pretty much treated her like a maggot for the past 5 years.
The excuse? "I am manic and depressed and confused". Well, yes, so am I. Doesn't give you license to act like an asshole. And... Eh. I will shut up now.

California in just over a week. Excited to see my siblings as it has been way too long. And of course my darling Fury dog. And my beloved Monterey. And finally a new tattoo...

Last of all: the new Grinderman album is awesome.

Because

I am stealing this one from my lovely friend Charlie (who I will be seeing in two weeks -YAY!).
Today we all need to list out why we are awesome so we don't forget it.

Because I love too much, because I talk to much, because I am smart, because I am thoughtful, because I have ideas and because I am creative. Because I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends who make me a better person everyday and because I am a little crazy and a little impulsive while being a little sensible and a little level-headed.

Back to work - a lot to get done today while fighting through the feeling of being completely burnt out with no interest or motivation left.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

It's been 2 weeks...

So I feel like I can talk about it here now. I stopped smoking two weeks ago tomorrow.

17 years of smoking a pack a day.
Two "quitting" episodes that didn't last very long
17 years of really ENJOYING smoking
17 years of using cigarettes as my way to get away from everything for 5 minutes

The first time I quit was in Israel in 2005. F., the guy I was dating and completely in love with at the time kept complaining about me smelling like smoke all the time. So I stopped smoking for him (bad idea). He moved from the kibbutz down to my aunt's moshav, and in the two weeks between him leaving and me joining him there I started again. I missed it (and him) too much. When we were reunited on the moshav he had started smoking anyway.
Morale of the story: don't stop smoking for someone, especially not for a man who is going to end up breaking your heart anyway.

The second time I quit was in London in the beginning of 2005. I was REALLY irritable at work, but made it through to the two week mark and went out drinking. And smoked about 5 cigarettes. Then jumped back on the wagon until I went out drinking again etc etc. Then I was offered the job in New York and used it as an excuse to start smoking properly again.
Morale of the story: don't stop smoking without a real plan, or without any real will to do it.

This time it's different. Meg had already decided to stop on her birthday in August. I said a few months ago that I was going to stop in September, and seeing as I said it out loud there was no going back. September 1st rolled round and I had already set myself in the mindset that I wouldn't be smoking ever again.

And it worked.

It's been a lot easier than I expected. Granted the first few days I was extremely aware of the moments I would smoke, and how much of a habit it was. After 24 hours I wanted to kill everyone in my sight, and by the 48 hour mark I was feeling fine. Meg gave me a nicotine inhaler that I have used a few times when I have been out in a bar, and it helps take the edge off of the cravings. Now it's come to a point when I don't think about cigarettes as much anymore, and, although I miss them a lot at certain moments in time, I feel OK ABOUT IT!!!

I do have an insane amount of manic energy though - and I keep need to move around all the time. I love the fact that my hair smells like my coconut conditioner all day long AND then next day and that my clothes still smell of my fabric softener when I take them off at night. I also love the fact that I am going to save approximately $3,640 a year.

What I'm listening to right now

Yes - I am procrastinating at work and don't feel like trawling through hundreds of emails just yet.

1). Elliott Smith - Coast to Coast
2). Etta James - The Man I Love
3). The Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends
4). Interpol - Say Hello To The Angels
5). Jenny Lewis - It Wasn't Me
6). Lou Reed - She's My Best Friend
7). Neil Young - You and Me
8). Calla - This Better Go As Planned
9). Cat Stevens - Miles From Nowhere
10). Joan Baez - Fountain of Sorrow

I sense some type of theme going on.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Tania Glyde - Cleaning Up

Sub-title: "How I Gave Up Drinking And Lived"

I was on one of my usual lengthy bookstore browsing moments the other day and this book caught my eye. My first reaction was SHIT - I should have written this, she beat me to it! Followed by a sinking feeling in my stomach of "I'm never ever going to be a writer because I am just not DOING enough of it". Followed by a text sent to Meg to tell her I was going to buy it and read it. And so I did...

I've not had a drop of alcohol since January 3rd 2009. The two years leading up to my decision to stop drinking will forever be embedded in my mind (even the nights I don't remember because I was completely blacked out), and I don't feel like going over them and reanalyzing them again and again. I got through it. I'm still here, I didn't lose a limb or my brain, or my job. I functioned very well, never missing a day of work or a deadline or a dinner with a friend or an important event. However, if I had continued on the same path I probably wouldn't be here anymore, and that's pretty clear to me now.
I probably will never have a drop of alcohol again. And that's not a problem for me. Yes, I miss the confidence I had when I was drunk, but I have actually learnt to be a lot more confident without alcohol now. Actually be myself.

Anyway - this isn't about me. I'll probably write more and more about this subject at some point (or you can just go back and read my posts from 2007 and 2008 to get some kind of idea). This is about Tania's book.

I usually don't like this type of book. I tried and tried to read Prozac Nation and just wanted to shake her and tell her to get up and stop being such a whiny bitch (this coming from someone who suffers from the same illness - I just can't stand boring self-centered woe-is-me crap). So I was a little wary about reading Tania Glyde's book, but it is actually very readable, personal experiences mixed with fact, and a lot of tongue-in-cheek humour. Very British in fact. We Brits don't like to whine about ourselves, we prefer to make fun of ourselves and move on.
And it really portrays the main reason why women tend to try to drink as much as men, and how having willpower doesn't really help when you get to drink number 3.
Suggested read to anyone who has ever had an alcohol problem. Or who has lived or been friends with someone with an alcohol problem.

Tania Glyde's Website

By the way - whenever I talk about being sober, it is only for myself and for my own personal reasons. I don't judge anyone's drinking or not drinking, unless it affects me personally. And even then I don't judge. I just get pissed off.

Thoughts

So much has happened this year, things I just don't want to go over in detail on a public forum like this, but it makes me realise how some feelings never go away, and how, for some unknown reason, we let ourselves go round in circles in some situations in life. And last of all, how it's actually OK to let ourselves do this.

This probably doesn't make any sense to anyone else except for me, and that's OK too.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Interpol - Music Hall of Williamsburg 09/10/2010

Previously I was pretty sad and disappointed by how the new album sounded, seeing as Interpol have been such a big part of my life for so long...

Well they did an impromptu show at the Music Hall of Williamsburg (my second favourite venue) in NYC last night and I got to see them. And they were AMAZING. Nothing has changed (except for Carlos' presence, more on that in a bit). I had forgotten exactly how much I loved them, and how big a part of my life the music had been for a long time.

It brought back so many memories...
Lynn and me, seeing the very last two shows from the Antics tour here in NYC in 2005
Listening to NYC while getting on my first subway ride in NYC and realising that I was REALLY here
Darkroom and Darkroom basement and 2005 and 2006
Listening to Rest My Chemistry and realising I needed to do the same
Wednesday nights

Anyway - there are lots more, but I won't bore everyone with a nostalgia trip - I'll just enjoy it myself.

The new songs sound good live - so I am going to give the album another try with a different ear. It was a little strange at first not to see Carlos on stage, and the new bassist Dave Pajo seems to fit in fine.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Labour Day Weekend 2010 - Part 2


When you go out for a walk, specifically to take pictures, you see everything differently. Buildings, sign-posts, people, shops, colours, graffiti...

I wanted to catch up with Larry on his week (ATP, new girlfriend, bar-fight motorbike rides - his life is infinitely more interesting than mine at the moment!) and take pictures at the same time. He suggested Chinatown, which was perfect because I tend to avoid the area like the plague due to the excess of annoying tourists. I discovered some interesting streets (without any tourists) and just shot everything that caught my eye.

I've fallen in love with being a tourist in the city I have lived in for over 5 years.

All the pictures are here: Chinatown & Little Italy

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Comment of the week

Despite the saying, imitation is not a form of flattery. Use your own fucking imagination for god's sake!!!! NOT MINE.


*Annoyed*.

The Blue Notebook - James A. Levine



This is one of those books that you know will tug at your heartstrings before you have even read the first page.
James A. Levine recites the story of a young girl in India, Batuk, who is sold into sexual slavery by her parents at an early age, and who tells her story through her young eyes and the stories she writes into her notebook. Despite the many euphemisms Batuk uses to lessen the horror of her daily existence, you read right through the lines, and just want to run off to India and save her and any other child who is living her life. Heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.
Not for the faint of heart and those who don't give a shit about anyone around them (because you may be shocked into actually thinking outside of your own selfish being) - but it should be a must-read for everyone.

Child prostitution is a very important issue to me, and making it less of a taboo means that one day there may be enough of us around to actually wipe it out for good. Or enough of us to stamp out the fuckers who think having sex with children is normal.

Some links for those interested in actually doing something to help:
United Nations - Children's Rights
Global Alliance Against Traffic in Women
Karmayog
Plan USA Sponsor a Child

Labour Day weekend 2010 - Part 1

Yesterday, after the so-called Hurricane Earl left us with blue-washed skies and a strong breeze, I decided I wanted to take pictures ALL DAY. Luckily Mum was game, because I don't know how I would have got around if she hadn't been (yes, learning to drive is on my list this year).

First came the usual amazing sunrise over the bay from the East. I am only using the manual settings on my camera, and I still need to work more on the lighting settings, but I'm getting there:


I finally figured my direct sunlight settings once we were walking Bella, and got the rising sun over the bay, with Fire Island in the very back:


We made our way to Smithpoint beach to see the waves. As it was low tide they were not as impressive as I thought they would be, but I wouldn't have ventured in myself:


After a trek to Best Buy, Borders and HomeGoods we stopped of at Manor St George, just off William Floyd Parkway in Shirley. I had no idea that behind all of the trees there was a amazing piece of land looking out onto the bay! Despite getting eaten alive by mosquitoes (literally), we had a really good look around. The house was first built in the 1600's and then added onto in the 1700's.
Interesting flag ;):




We then drove West along Montauk Highway towards the Westhampton Beach area, and I noticed a signpost for a graveyard along the way, and made Mum turn around and go back to it. It didn't look very impressive from the road, but it was literally huge. We spent about 30 minutes driving up and down the lanes and taking pictures of the stones. My favourite part was definitely catching the crow on the gravestone:


And then finally Westhampton Beach where the waves were very impressive. The people who were braving them were pretty dumb in my opinion. I was actually surprised that the lifeguards were letting anyone except surfers swim. Granted, there was only a tiny area of the beach where swimming was allowed, and also about 20 lifeguards hanging around in case anyone got pulled under and away by a riptide.


We ended the day with a two mile walk (a mile each way) to Paradise Ice Cream Parlor in Mastic Beach, under the blue velvet sky twinkling with stars.

Here are all of the pictures I took: Mastic Beach-Smithpoint-Shirley-Westhampton
Here is my Mum's blog (her pictures are amazing as usual): Alison's Blog